Ulysses

Well, it's been a week since I left Jordan to Saudi Arabia, and the days before were all full of running to prepare for my engagement. I got engaged by the way.
Now, that's why I was away from blogging for all this time, although I had so much to blog about, but it seems that I don't find enough time.
Another problem, which is a serious one, is that I'm still without a laptop, I left mine in Amman, and I was told that I will be given one as soon as I get there. Sadly, I've been waiting a long time with no results, so I guess I have to wait a bit more to get it.
meanwhile, I'll keep on browsing and reading blogs, I think this new atmosphere inspired me to wirte so many ideas, but you'll have to hold on tight till I can mange to routinize my life again and get settled in.

The weather is not bad at all by the way, in fact, I'm starting to like it more and more.

As one of my most elaborate characters is that I'm a non-conformist. And as I'm deeply and madly in love with my fiancé, I had to do so many stupid mistakes. I tell you people, never get married when you're in love. This will mean you'll do so many things that you'll deeply regret later on in the course of your life.

When I proposed to my Fiancé's parents. They asked for no amount of Gold to be specified for her, they realized that I was still building my self up. So they let it to me to decide how much I can afford.

So far so well; except that I was proud and egocentric enough to show them that although I can barely go through the engagement issues. But I still can show how "Generous" I can be.

And what is a better show of generosity than women's all time favorite; a Diamond Ring!!!

Yeah, So, I later on "obliged" my self to buy my fiancé e a Diamond ring and I told my in-laws that this is the least I can do for my sweetie. I never thought that diamonds were so pricy, I mean in my small world of incomes and finances nothing can exceed a 1000 JD's. I know I was out of common sense, but then, there was this sweet drive to do all I can do to her.

The agony and drama all appeared when we went to buy the ring, when I first entered the shop, I asked for an engagement ring; so, they started showing me all these really nice crafted rings. But I never stopped staring at the price tags with all those zeroes!!!

The salesperson apparently noticed the shower of sweat that was pouring down, so he asked if I cared to see less pricy items, and asked me what budget I'm thinking of. So I said was able to afford something like 1500 JD's. He gave a yellow smile and let out a try of "Tiny" rings with simple designs, and he took some other stones that were more appropriate to my budget.

The embarrassment came when my fiancé with my mother in law came to see what I could afford and then, the shock, the yellow faces, the agony, the feeling of bitterness! I can't say enough. I couldn't stop thinking of a scene from Tom & Jerry when Tom falls in love with a cat but she leaves him for a richer one. It involves a scene with diamonds if you can remember

Here's an advice to all those men thinking of marriage: go with Gold, it's much cheaper and so much worth what you're paying for. As for me, I had to bear the feeling of humiliation and blame it all on my non-conformism. My fiancé loves me too so she didn't care as long as it was something from me, as for my Mother-in-law. Totally different story.

Diamonds............ for ever................. If you have the guts and money.

As most of you may know ( at least the regular ones should). I've been recently engaged in one of the most difficult and exhausting experiences I've ever been. But things are not over yet!
What her parents agreed on in the beginning was only an informal engagement ( reading Fatha). They thought that this would give them some more chance to get to know me. So now, and after 2 months of this informal engagement. They've finally agreed to make it official ( katb ktab) which was scheduled on Eid Holiday after Ramadan (Allah Ybarek Fekom in Advance).
Now, as much as I was happy to finally feel relieaved after all the struggle I've been through to prove I was worthy of their Daughter, but there appears two more things to make things not as I wished for.
first thing, which is not least important, is that I'm leaving to Saudi Arabia very soon after I get engaged, 2-3 days for the max! This means that I won't have the chance to enjoy it with my fiance! Something I really hate.

The other more important thing is that this means I have to raise money for the engagement party and stuff. My friends estimated that this will take about 3 thousand JD's to hold a decent party and manage all the other stuff. Here comes the bitter part, As I mentioned in previous posts, I'm officially down the drain!
Some people always blame me for doing this step while in such a horrible financial situation, but believe me. I still think that fate was behind making all these things possible and behind making every thing go in such a smooth way that no one ever imagined.
Back to the financial part; some people suggested that I should ask for my parents for help; which is not a possible option considering their own financial state right now with 3 other children in Universities. another reason was that they told me before I do this step that I'm gonna face some financial difficulties, but I didn't listen. and I really hate the " I told you so" part.
The other option , and the easiest one, is to get a loan, my income allows me to get more than I needed within half an hour, but then. I took an oath not to get back to loans after all I've been through during my master's degree loans, which I still suffer from till this day.
The last and least desirable option is to ask for some money from relatives and friends. I know that I can pay them all back as soon as I get my paycheck in Saudi. But, for a man who managed his life independently despite all the troubles that I've been through, it seems hard to ask for money from anyone. For a start, I can only imagine how embarrassed I would be in one of my friends said he doesn't have any money, and the other fear is that people will look at me in a different way. I will not longer be the self efficient Tha2ir, who managed to go through all these stuff by his own. And finally, I'm always afraid that anyone who will lend me money will expect me to be grateful for the rest of my life, and I really hate such feelings.

These are all rantings, but it's good to relieve some of my tension in the past days, I'm willing to accept any ideas, or donations. Just kiddin...... no I'm not!

As I lived most of my life outside Jordan, I've become naturally accustomed to certain habits and etiquette rules. One of the most basic rules was the "ATM etiquette", which simplay states that: Whenever you go to an ATM and there is someone else using the ATM infront of you, you have to allow him his privacy and give him a space so that he won't be bothered with you, and you should make it possible that he won't even realize that you're standing behind him waiting for your turn. No one told me that this doesn't apply here in Jordan!!
I don't think that anyone in Jordan would be happy to disclose information on his finacial status and how much he has in his account, yet Jordanians never stop to amuse me, they will stand at the the tip of your shoulder, fainting that they're not looking at your account sum , yet irritating you to act clumsily just to get you out of the ATM, and although that everyone should be bothered by this act; it seems that it never fails to be a part of the Jordanians living style.
Today I was at the ATM, I saw a couple of guys at the ATM booth, one was withdrawing his money and his friend was at his shoulder looking, I frankly don't like even my friends to take a look at my password or my remaining account. So, I waited outsiede the booth for the men to finish, and I swaer they didn't know someone was waiting. then came my turn and I entered the booth, and just when I started entering my password; a nice lady walks in talking on her cell phone and stands just behind me while talking on the phone! I looked back to show that I was upset, but she didn't seem to care and the only thing she did was to step one step back to my right shoulder, I hate it when I feel someone is waiting for me and watching over my back. So, I withdrew my money and gave her another look of anger, not like that she cared, and then I left.
When will Jordanians learn some basic rules of conduct!

So, I'm finally away with the horrible caffeine withdrawal headache and I'm back to normal.
What I still am unable to face is Food; I don't seem to understand why people will insist on consuming huge amounts of food in Ramadan, I personally don't feel able to eat as much in Ramadan as in other months, and yet I don't dare show that, cause people will start urging you to eat more, they'll ask you if you don't like the food, and if they can bring bring you anything else, I'm a bit of a slow eater, so it takes me time to eat more than other people, which intrigues people to question if I like their food.
Yesterday I was invited for a Ramadan meal at my in-law's. my father in law was born and raised in Cameron! so they still make some African meals, yesterday they made a new one called "peanut sauce" The idea is that you make a sauce out of peanuts! along with rice. When I tried the meal I didn't find it too bad, in fact if it wasn't a bit salty I would have eaten more, but as usual I started eating slow, and then everyone started asking me again and again if I really loved the meal, and I had to explain to my in-laws ( in the most polite way possible, I don't want them to be pissed of) that this is my usual way in Ramadan.
but I think that I had to overeat just to persuade them that I liked the meal; I wasn't even able to eat anything on "Sahour" cause I was filled.
Does that count as a sign of Hypocrisy?!

This is a hilarious article by one of my best Jordanian columnists;أحمد حسن الزعبي.
I couldn't stop loughing when I first read it, and I forwarded it to my fiance too, but she seamed a bit offended!! I don't know why!

المصـــــــــــير

رصد الانفعالات هواية استمتع في ممارستها بن الحين والآخر.. قيمة هذه الهواية انها تساعدك في قراءة نفسك من خلال الآخرين، حسب قاعدة أوجدتها ذات زهزهة : اذا أردت ان تكتشف نفسك فانظر الى غيرك..

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أحيانا أقف أمام المحكمة الشرعية دقائق طويلة...تمر سيدة في نهاية الثلاثينات تكر حفايتها كرا ترتدي دشداشة بيتية قد بهت لونها وتساقط خرزها، تتخنصر قبل الصعود الى الدرج، تستجمع قواها ثم تصعد..فأتيقن أنها:حالة طلاق طازجة..

وأخرى تقف أمام رأس كاتب الاستدعاءات وتقول له: (الك علي ربع ليرة من المرة اللي فاتت)..أقول في نفسي : لا بد انها مواظبة على النفقة..وثالثة بيديها أوراق مخرمة وقداحة وترتدي كعبا عاليا و نظارات سميكة ويفوح منها عطر اورجنزا وبفمها تكتم فقاعات شهية لعلكة اكسترا: أكيد خلع.

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يستوقفني كثيرا ارتباك شاب يلبس قميصا ابيض..يستل من جيبته الخلفية جزدانه ليصور هويته وهوية خطيبته من مكتبة قريبة: (لغايات عقد القران)..فترافقة بطانة الجيبة المطلة كذيل ارنب أينما ذهب دون ان يشعر، هل قلت أرنب؟..نعم هذه أولى بوادر الأرنبة!!..يكون الشاب مرتبكا وعرقا وكريما ومهتما جدا بقبة قميصه بنفس درجة اهتمامه بخطيبته ..

دون ان يشعر، تلتصق فوق حاجبه قطعة محارم صغيرة نتيجة عرقه الغزير.. لهاث لا يهدأ ومجاملة منقطعة النظير لعمه والد خطيبته الذي يتمنن عليه بالوقوف الى جانبه..يتمم المعاملة،ويحاول تقديم العم في المشية ..يسألهم كل حين عطشانين اجيبلكوا اشي..ويصر والد العروس الذي يتقمص دور الحكمة والمسامحة والتبني للعريس..هسع بنروح عالدار وبنشرب عموه..بينما العروس التي ترتدي بالغالب ألوانا زاهية، لا سيما اللون النهدي تلتزم الصمت والخجل والخوف من الأب...

ولأني أحب الفرح بطبعي، أسرح مع سلوك ذلك الخاطب طيلة فترة الخطبة وانسى وقوفي أمام المحكمة وقضايا الخلع والنفقة والمطلقات..

نعم كذلك، لا بد انهم سيجلسونه الآن في غرفة الضيوف، ويشعلون المروحة السقفية التي تزيدطقطقتها عندما يثبتون مفتاحها على 4...ستحضر خالات العروس ليرينه ويتعرفن على ملامحه المختفية طيلة فترة التفاوض وقراءة الفاتحة، المسكين لا بد انه الآن يسحب عمود قناعاته يحركه حسب جو الجميع ثم يضبطه حسب مزاج اخيها الأكبر، ويحاول أن يتودد للأوسط، ويلاعب الأصغر حدرج بدرج..وعليه ان يحرص ان يجاري العم في ذكرياته عندما كان في وحدة الاسناد، وعندما سقطت نصف بلوكه على رجله في الخندق ولفها بكيس خيش، وعندما ردف معه المسدس اثناء عرس صالح..وعلى العريس ان يزم شفتيه متأثرا لحادث البلوكة مع قليل من التألم ، ومن ثم تمجيد بطولة العم المتقاعد ..كما يجب على هذا الخاطب الطازج أن يمد سجادة الصلاة لجدة الخطيبة، وأول من يبادرها بعبارة تقبل الله..ويمتدح المقلوبة المعجقة التي أعدتها عمته المعدلة، ويتجشأ زورا وبهتانا ليوهمهم بالشبع فيرضوا عنه..من قال ان أجمل فترة هي فترة الخطبة؟..

في فترة الخطبة: تتم مداهمات امنية من خلال آخر العنقود ، وأبواب نصف مفتوحة تترك عمدا،وطفل يستلمك سبعة بلدي كي ترسم له بوكيمون، ومجاملة مميته بين الخاطب والعائلة، وضغط نفسي قاس، وتخوف من الآخر، وخلي عينك ع الباب، وخلوات خالية الدسم، ومجاحرة من قبل اخوة العروس البالغين..وتع يا عمي اقعدوا هون احسن - دعوة يطلقها والد العروس - لدرء المفاسد..

من قال أن الخطوبة هي اجمل مرحلة ؟ الخطوبة في أعرافنا قنوة ارهاب مغلفة بسولفان

It's been a while since I last wrote anything on this blog; I guess that Engagement can really be a time waster!
But engagement is not only about time wasting, it's also about making huge commitments, and about changing your life.
One of the things I never thought I can ever think about was leaving Jordan to work in the Gulf. I always thought that those people who go to the Gulf will end up losing much of their lives for worthless gains. I once took the decision not to leave Jordan but to carry on with my PhD studies.
But that decision will be amended soon. As a result for my totally unexpected new commitment, that is engagement, I was forced to think of things in a financial point of view. This made me realize that I can never ever get married with my pity salary I get here, and considering that my plans for studying outside were delayed due to this commitment. I had to make the better decision and sign a contract to work in Saudi Arabia!
Yes, Ulysses the great will have to think the unthinkable and take the unthinkable risk and adventure of working and living in a quite hostile environment. It makes me so sad even to think about the issue. I never thought that I can survive in such an environment, but then. Life gives you so many surprises.
I'm not sad though, I guess one can learn from such experiences, this will at least make me appreciate the bless I used to have for being a citizen of Jordan.
But this will also mean that I'll get the chance to focus on more important things that took the back door for a while. I have to confess that engagement is all about losing your whole day spending hours and hours, either on the phone (which is something I really despise). Or wasting it on visits to your in-laws, and all the whole new pack that you should become a close relative to. This also means making all the unnecessary compliments and the supposedly innocent smiles and nice gestures with everyone so you can be welcomed.
Too much in my mind, I hope I can write more about it in the next few posts