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Just when I thought that I have been showed the way to a happy life, I came to realize that I was only facing more trouble in my ride, I was over with my engagement, which was nothing less than a bumpy ride, and I thought that I have finished the hardest part, I mean wedding will be smoothly arranged for, I'm going to Saudi, which means I will have enough money to go with the arrangements without having to fall in debt. Every thing was running smoothly, only it was only in my head.
it was not enough that I had to endure the difficulties of living in Saudi Arabia, but I also had to endure not seeing my family , my fiance, and my friends. and as this was not enough, Realized that my fiance was so much emotionally attached to me that I would have to hear her cry every day on the phone cause I'm not by her side.
And it only gets worse, our both families got into conflicts over the date, place, and timing of the wedding. My family, who live in Irbid and so are all our relatives, sought that it would be a good idea to arrange for a good wedding hall that is not away from north Amman, so that no one from our side gets lost. But my in-laws, who have only few relatives all in Amman, thought that they need to make the wedding for their only daughter in a hotel and are still unable to agree on a date cause they need to make sure their daughter will finish the university at first, and are afraid that she may have to take a summer semester.
So, I'm now faced with uncertainty in everything. for starters I just can't afford to arrange a wedding in a Hotel, I mean I have a tribe as blood relatives, and it's not my fault that I have a total of 20 Aunts and Uncles from both my parents' side! and you can imagine how many cousins that mean, that is of course without mentioning all the other not-so-close relatives. This means a huge party that will totally go wrong. I know that my in-laws have the right to ask for a suitable party for their only daughter, but it makes me regret that I even thought of taking a lonely daughter. man, this means lots of responsibilities, and they have so few relatives that they can't even imagine what situation are we going through.
The other big problem is finding a suitable date, my in-laws are still hesitant, and it's all because they think my fiance has lost focus on her study since we got engaged, and are afraid she won't finish by the 2nd semester, and we all have to wait till she finishes the 2nd semester to reserve, that is by the end of June. I'm pretty sure I won't find anything by then.
So, here I am, My parents are pushing me to find a solution, my fiance is making me hate the whole thing and my in-laws are making it hard all the way.
Enjoy your evening!
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11 comments:
Man you are in a truly tough situation, the never ending diellema of the family and in-laws over wedding related issues. my advise is getting them both together and tell them everything that is in your mind and make sure that you and your fiance agree on what the both of you think is a good solution without letting both family parties having a say in that solution.
This is one of the reasons that makes me think if i wish to get married i will marry an orphan and without my family knowing i did get married :)
well Ahmad, Believe me it's not that easy. I mean I tried as much as I can to convince my in-laws. they deny that they are trying to make any road blocks. They're really good people, but as I said, and my parents also believe so, that they are just not handling the idea of letting their only daughter marry. I think I'll have to wait patiently till things get better, or till they come back to their senses.
I agree with Ahmed. One thing you forgot, which never ceases to amaze me, is how pride gets in the way.
This applies to many situations in our culture, not only yours tha2ir, the way people in the arab culture are too proud to sit together like civilized people and try and reach a solution that everyone can benefit from.
Everyone seems to believe that they have the right solution without considering how that affects the other party.
Good luck Tha2ir, I hope everything works out.
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ok,let me say 1st, i empathize with you,but i really was afraid to read something much worse,i mean in these things it can get much worse than this, so take a deep breath and try to work out something - i know i'm not helping- bas inno...take it easy ya 3azeezi :)
oh and don't have 10 kids plz,think of when your son want to get married :D
Yemenia: I don't think it's pride that is making the problem. I mean we all had so many good conversations. It's just that my in-laws are still unaware of the time constraint, and I'm afraid they'll realize that a bit late. let's hope they don't. Anyways I'm going back to Jordan next week and I hope I'll be able to settle things up. wish me luck.
Naser: thanks for the advice, and despite the fact that I really love children but I took a pledge not to exceed 4, either daughters or sons, I don't care about that as long as they'll be healthy and have good manners.
You should get both families together and tell them everything that is going on so that they are all informed and maybe together they can find a solution to these problems! You know I understand they want a nice wedding for their daughter, however the most important thig is your marriage and your commitment to each other! Also going into debt is not a good way to start a marriage. Four children wow I have three lol and this is a lot for me, I think that in the middle east you have larger families though I am from the U.S. good luck and congratulations!
San Antonio: Thanks, yeah I guess I will definitly have four. I just love children. let's hope that they will eventually understand the issue and appreciate it. Thanks
This is a common problem most of the people face at this point
don't worry eventually every thing will be solved as it should be
The most important thing is that u should be patient specially with ur fiancee, u can't imagen the pressure she live in these day's, she don't want to make u upset and she don't want her parents to be upset too ...she is on fire
Allah yefregha ya rab....we can give u the blog-sphere "n2oo6" early and nashef :D
Wallahi I do not know what to say. My friend, much younger than you are (why do they get married young) is in such trouble, and he finally decided to postpone the whole wedding for one whole year. Though everyone got upset, it was the best decision he made. His fiance graduated, he moved to a better place, and saved enough money to afford a suitable wedding.
Whisper: The only problem is that I can't be patient all the time with her, I some times feel so much hard on her, but I too am under huge pressure and I feel I can't express it without bursting in anger. Let's hope things will fare batter than what it is now.
KJ: Man, I don't want to even think of this idea. you know I had such a thought, but it creeps me out. I don't want to wait another year, and I'm positive that any delay will not mean lesser problems. they'll be only delayed to the following year.
mmm typical situation saudi-un-finihsed univ.
u are from irbid and from extended family too?
i was so surprised to know that really
hope all ur issues got solved
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